Monday, March 29, 2010

What next?

I think I'm having my quarter-life crisis. I first heard this term when, a few months after having moved to the US for Grad School, I had complained to my brother about a sense of a lack of direction, a want of purpose, etc. Being older than I, he had probably already been there, so he wisely remarked 'Oh thats normal. You're just having your quarter-life crisis'. I thought it was an expression he had coined until I googled for it recently, and sure enough, there does seem to exist such a phenomenon. 

So why this crisis at so young an age? I mean, I don't really have anything thats particularly lacking in my life. As far as accomplishments go, I did get the education, the job, the financial security I wanted. It is kind of where I wanted to be, right? Kinda. Sorta. But somehow that doesn't feel quite enough. There's some restlessness I can't seem to explain. And after some self-assessment, I think I can sum up this feeling in just two words - what next?

All through my childhood and teens, I've always known what I wanted next. Good grades in high school board exams, so I can pick Math and Science as my electives, which in turn would help me pass the plethora of college entrance exams that we Indians can't seem to get enough of, followed by good grades in college so that I can get into a good masters' program at a top university, which of course would result in a great job. I wish I had a more comprehensive plan that for my life, but then, who does? (Or so I like to think) And now that I seem to have executed this "plan" that only extended into my mid-twenties, I am stuck with the question, what next? 

And that makes me a little anxious, since until recently, I seemed to always know the answer to that question. Of course, I know I'm not alone. If everyone knew what they wanted to do with their life, the world would be a simpler place. But for now, I'm still figuring out how to figure it out. And while I'm on it, can everyone who's been a subject of  my recent grouchiness, please just deal? :D

P.S: My brother suggested I go to Cafe Grumpy. Another thing I mistook for an expression until I saw this - Maybe I will!
Also, T, M and Butterfly have already seen something similar in SQ, besides putting up with lot of whining of late...


  1. Good education, Nice job, got married..etc tht's all fine. But, a women's ultimate satisfaction comes from motherhood. I think it's the time to plan for children. Doctors advise to have children before 30. Start planning unless you have something else that is more important.

  2. Anonymous, thanks for leaving me a comment. I like it when my readers respond to my posts with their comments/ideas :).
    From your comment, I'm guessing that you speak from experience. I think it's a great suggestion. I'm sure that being good parents and watching your children grow is very fulfilling. Yes, motherhood is definitely on my list. But I think that it is only part of the puzzle. I would still need to find what my 'calling' is. I just want to be able to look back at my life and feel like, in addition to being a good parent, I also did what really mattered to me with my time and abilities as well.

  3. Nice, you made me go through the wiki of "quarter life crisis" ...hey, 'desire to have kids', is a part of the emotional aspects :)...
    I think, it's just a matter of finding the most secure place in self, in the midst of all fickle things...and this all will vanish matter what age :D (just my few cents)

  4. Mansi! Thanks for your two cents:) I've known you to be a more spiritual person than I, so it's interesting to see a different perspective here. I think I understand what you're alluding to, but I'm not sure how to find this secure place. Any suggestions?

  5. sure...if you can spare me half a saturday somewhere in July(will let you know)...then you decide how much it helps :)